Parenting has become an overwhelmingly challenging task for people nowadays. Every parent’s mission is to bring up kids who are healthy, happy, and productive. While it seems like an easy task, more children are growing up into their teens and adulthood feeling unsatisfied and disoriented with themselves. Children feel that they are not capable of managing their lives without the assistance of their parents. Thus, if parents continue to spend too much time checking over their children, being overly protective of them from the usual anxieties and stresses of life, more children will grow up feeling this way.
Children should learn how to fix themselves up and experience distress and discomfort as it is a normal process of life. Helicopter parenting or hovering over children is as debilitating to your children’s future. As parents, you need to allow more leeway for children to learn and toughen up their “psychological immune system.”
Instead of obsessing over your children and the minute details of their lives, you can focus on self-care and give more attention to yourself. Given your busy schedule, you can enjoy a bit of pampering at a spa, salon or get a laser hair removal treatment from your favorite clinic. Here are some ways for you to avoid being a helicopter parent to your child.
Avoid Rescuing Your Children at All Times
Allow your kids to experience the typical disappointments of life. If they come home crying after a fight with their best friend, don’t jump in to fight the battle for them. They should be able to try out new experiences, test their limits, fail and get hurt. This way, they learn to fix themselves up and realize that everything is okay afterward. It helps build their resilience and confidence in moving forward after feeling frustrated or distraught.
Avoid Being Several Steps Ahead of Them
While the kids are growing, take a step back and let them learn and experience the world on their phase. Some parents go the extra mile in ensuring everything will be safe and secure for their children. You can still be beside them or behind them to provide a safe set back or be a supportive environment to encourage them to move forward.
Avoid Comparing Them to Others
Let your children individuate and separate from you or others. Give them ample space to explore on their own and pursue their passions or desires. Instead of influencing them with your hopes and dreams as parents, your child should live a life of their own.
Avoid Covering Up the Truth
Always be honest and tell them the truth. Often, children already know the truth, and they will only get confused or conflicted when you lie to them to protect them. Telling them the truth teaches them confidence, too, as you show them that you are strong enough to handle it, and they should be. This will increase the trust and confidence between you and your child. It also gives them an increased level of emotional security.
Avoid Being Unrealistic
As much as you love your children, avoid treating them as if they are the center of the universe. It is not the reality when they enter adolescence and adulthood. It might work while they are kids, but as they grow up, everything changes. Show them a more realistic perspective of life to help them ease into this phase better. You can tell them that “life is sometimes not fair” to open them up to the realities of adulthood and prepare them for what is to come.
Avoid giving them free rein. Set boundaries and limits. Some parents allow kids to get away with their mischief to avoid tantrums. But the reality is, children thrive when there are limits and rules set. It helps make them feel safer and secure knowing that their parents are in charge and responsible for them. Telling them that they can only have an hour of screen time every day and making sure that it is followed has a larger payoff for both children and parents.
There is no one way to parent a child. Being a helicopter parent can be both a good and bad thing. Sometimes, various parenting styles work better than a single approach for some families and not for others. And like any other things in life, parents should essentially consider the impact and values of different parenting strategies. Find the best aspects of it and use what you feel is right for you and your kids.
