Parenting in Your 50s: Can You Handle Adult Kids That Are Coming Home to Stay?

middle aged man

More often than not, kids can’t wait to grow up and leave the family home. Some parents dread the time their children leave the nest while others are as equally excited as their young adult kids. According to experts, most young adults move out of their family homes once they reach the age of 23. During the half-century, we see less number of people returning home to live with their parents again. But then, the pandemic happened.

Why Are Adult Kids Returning to Their Nests?

The Covid-19 crisis turned everyone’s world upside down. Many are left jobless and unable to pay for their rent. Now, some adults have no choice but to seek parental support once more.

People who came back to live with their parents are often called “boomerang kids.” Some of them chose to return to their nest to help their aging parents. But during the pandemic, many decided to return home because they have no other place to go.

Some parents are happy about getting to live with their kids once again. But then, parenting an adult is nowhere easy. It makes sense for parents who are already struggling financially to treat their kids as roommates instead.

young woman backpacking

Challenges of Living with Your Boomerang Kids

If you think living with adults is easier, then think again. There are pros and cons of parenting young kids and your children in their adult years. With young kids, you have more control over what they can and can’t do but it is a different story with your adult children.

Parenting boomerang kids can pose different kinds of challenges. Some are as follows.

Spatial Issues

Your kids did not only grow in size but could also be taking their own families with them to live with you. This means space can feel cramped and members living in the house can enjoy less privacy and peace of mind. You may need to turn another room into another bedroom, have the house extended, or even make a decision to sell the house and buy a bigger real estate property to accommodate them.

Financial Issues

Having more people living with you means you need additional cash to pay for groceries and utilities. When your kid has no job and no savings to spend, they can go back to relying on you financially. This can put a strain on your budget and if this drags on, you can quickly deplete your retirement savings.

Relationship Rifts

Adult kids and their parents fighting over the littlest things can stain a relationship. If both parties are not willing to talk things out and meet halfway, then living together again can only deepen the gap instead of building it. This is especially true if there are serious arguments in the past that keep on coming back.

Lack of communication, ignorance, or neglect

Since the kids are now adults, they now do adult stuff. They can forget that they need to communicate their plans with their parents, share responsibility around the house, and be mindful of their new roommates. Without good communication, parents can get stressed out while kids can feel suffocated with all the rules and confrontations.

Managing Home Life with Boomerang Kids Around

When kids return to live with their parents, the owner of the house which is usually the parents should set guidelines even before the kids move back in. If boomerang kids know what to expect, what the parents want, and are willing to make it work then it will be easier to live in peace despite the new arrangements.

Your kids may have returned home to sort their finances out. But that does not mean you should already spoil them by sharing all your wealth so they can live a comfortable life. You want to help them get back on their feet, not to teach them to live off your retirement funds and simply rely on you for the rest of their life.

Make sure to ask kids what their goals and plans are and stop rescuing them after every failure. As much as you want to be near your kids, you also want them to learn how to be responsible for their own life. It would be best to give them an ultimatum so you can make sure they are saving money or pay off their debt as they said they will do to make sure they stay on track.

Set your expectations straight, so they know what they need to do while living with you. This can mean giving their share for the groceries or utilities, running errands for you around the house, and what your rules and limitations are. This will save you the future headache and ensure the relationship will work out.

Don’t forget to set your own boundaries too. Remember that your kids are now grownups and should be responsible for their own actions. Learn how to compromise, to respect their space, and be a sensible roommate.

You may be excited to welcome your adult kids back into your house. But know that this can either do you and your relationship with them good or bad. There will be challenges in letting your boomerang kids back. It is crucial that you prepare yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally before they move back in. Learn how to manage your adult kids and you can even enjoy their company during their stay.

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